Do Besties Know Best?
Besties hold so many different roles in our lives, the snorts to our laughter, the party for our celebrations, the shoulders we cry on. . . you get it. They are there through all the ups and downs of life and just think about how empty life would be without them. I still haven’t figured out why it seems so much easier to find your girl tribe than it is to find a man, but that might be for a different blog in the future.
Since our girls have been through the highs and lows with us, is it possible that they would be so much better at making decisions for our lives than we are?
Follow my logic for a moment. . . let’s say you really, really, really want a new job or a new man or whatever it is you are craving. Since it is something that we want so badly, we tend to ignore the red flags and the reasons not to and instead focus on all the reasons it will be wonderful. We slide those rose-colored glasses on and live in a happy world of rainbows and unicorns, completely ignoring the storm clouds ahead.
I totally know that every last one of us is guilty of this at some time or another. Maybe some of us have grown wiser with time, experience and age. . . perhaps you heed the red flags. But when we get our hearts set on why this one thing would be the best thing ever, it is so easy to ignore the details that may show you that this is, in fact, not your dream job or man or whatever.
But, your besties, who know you, oh so well, do not have the same emotional attachment. They can ask the hard questions that you don’t want to face. They can more easily separate the good shit from the bull shit. So maybe, just maybe their opinion should weigh in heavier? Now, I get it, I could not imagine for a second letting go of control of the bad decisions that I make. I swear my messy mistakes are totally a part of my charm but I think back to moments when my besties were totally right about a situation that I powered through, the moments I tried to make work, only to have it blow up in my face. And thankfully, I didn’t have to hear “told you so” until WAYYYY later, when I was recovered from the mishap. I mean, come on, of course friends are going to have to rub their accuracy in your face at some point in time.
This was exactly the topic of conversation that the girls and I had this week. Of course, it was about a bad decision I made several years ago that could have ruined our friendship. As someone that was so insecure that he was completely threatened by the relationship I had with these girls, tried everything he could think of to keep me from them, whatever he could do to make me second guess their loyalty, their friendship, their motives. All the while, these women who had been in my life for years. These women who have always stood by my side. These women who have never wanted anything but the best for me. These women that I should have been listening to tried over and over and over to get me to see what was really going on.
It’s amazing how hindsight really is 20/20 because it is only now that I can see how fucked up my decision making was during that time. I was a fool and I could have lost my very best friends. It’s a good thing they are all so freakin stubborn that they wouldn’t let it or me go! To find the silver lining, it has made me appreciate them more. Not that it should have taken a near miss to finally get me to appreciate what I’ve had all along but that’s the way of life sometimes. . . it takes almost losing something to fully appreciate its beauty and value.
So I want to ask you. . . moving forward. . . do you think I should give them the license to make all the decisions in my life? Do you think the Who’s should have a say in my decision making as well? I mean, y’all hear about all of my shenanigans anyway so I might as let you all have a say too, right?
Um. . . on second thought. . . maybe this is a bit too drastic, but I really don’t think you could mess it up any more than I have in my past! Ha!
- Annie
Since our girls have been through the highs and lows with us, is it possible that they would be so much better at making decisions for our lives than we are?
Follow my logic for a moment. . . let’s say you really, really, really want a new job or a new man or whatever it is you are craving. Since it is something that we want so badly, we tend to ignore the red flags and the reasons not to and instead focus on all the reasons it will be wonderful. We slide those rose-colored glasses on and live in a happy world of rainbows and unicorns, completely ignoring the storm clouds ahead.
I totally know that every last one of us is guilty of this at some time or another. Maybe some of us have grown wiser with time, experience and age. . . perhaps you heed the red flags. But when we get our hearts set on why this one thing would be the best thing ever, it is so easy to ignore the details that may show you that this is, in fact, not your dream job or man or whatever.
But, your besties, who know you, oh so well, do not have the same emotional attachment. They can ask the hard questions that you don’t want to face. They can more easily separate the good shit from the bull shit. So maybe, just maybe their opinion should weigh in heavier? Now, I get it, I could not imagine for a second letting go of control of the bad decisions that I make. I swear my messy mistakes are totally a part of my charm but I think back to moments when my besties were totally right about a situation that I powered through, the moments I tried to make work, only to have it blow up in my face. And thankfully, I didn’t have to hear “told you so” until WAYYYY later, when I was recovered from the mishap. I mean, come on, of course friends are going to have to rub their accuracy in your face at some point in time.
This was exactly the topic of conversation that the girls and I had this week. Of course, it was about a bad decision I made several years ago that could have ruined our friendship. As someone that was so insecure that he was completely threatened by the relationship I had with these girls, tried everything he could think of to keep me from them, whatever he could do to make me second guess their loyalty, their friendship, their motives. All the while, these women who had been in my life for years. These women who have always stood by my side. These women who have never wanted anything but the best for me. These women that I should have been listening to tried over and over and over to get me to see what was really going on.
It’s amazing how hindsight really is 20/20 because it is only now that I can see how fucked up my decision making was during that time. I was a fool and I could have lost my very best friends. It’s a good thing they are all so freakin stubborn that they wouldn’t let it or me go! To find the silver lining, it has made me appreciate them more. Not that it should have taken a near miss to finally get me to appreciate what I’ve had all along but that’s the way of life sometimes. . . it takes almost losing something to fully appreciate its beauty and value.
So I want to ask you. . . moving forward. . . do you think I should give them the license to make all the decisions in my life? Do you think the Who’s should have a say in my decision making as well? I mean, y’all hear about all of my shenanigans anyway so I might as let you all have a say too, right?
Um. . . on second thought. . . maybe this is a bit too drastic, but I really don’t think you could mess it up any more than I have in my past! Ha!
- Annie
Annie, true friends are always there for you. I don’t think they want to run your life or tell you what to do. They’re too busy screwing up their lives and needing your advice too. I think true friends are our sounding boards and we value their advice. In the end, you have to go with your gut, live the life you want, and deal with the consequences and know your friends will be there for you no matter what choices you make.
You have a strong and loyal BFF tribe that is something that is so valuable you can never even put a price on it. And I’m pretty sure most likely 95% have managed to create some sort of a disaster out of our lives and thank goodness for our BFF’s to grab our hands and pull us up when we slip and fall. As far as decision making hmmmm LOL me I love feedback,opinions even smart aleck reply’s but in the end the decisions will always be my own and I have my handful of BFF’s that will always be there to grab my hand Ok I have one that might kick me in the butt and said I told you so LOL. But we all love a good shenanigans story if it be happy or sad you have all your Who’s and BFF’s to laugh or cry and share in support friendship but I’m thinking a license in decision making is a bit drastic besides I know even if it was my BFF that made a decision for me I would go do the opposite if it right or wrong LOL.
Lisa
Who’s having a say in your life choices is like rolling into the shitshow going beep beep bitches! We who’s are all over the place! #aloyalwho #iwouldfuckitup #shitshow
I totally agree we should listen to our best friends when it comes to our personal decisions.
Always listen to your besties! You can choose whether you take 100% of their advice or 75% of their advice 😂. Choices ❤️🤷♀️
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